Modernsafari

JK

2011-12-28T03:00:00.000-08:00

i'm growing dependent upon the things i thought i had finished
refusing and healed from already
i healed so long ago i forgot they scarred me in the first place
it's all pre-Mediterranean civilization
it's all trace fossils and charred ceramics

the problem is
me
the trouble never arrives as
tulips or daffodils
when it revisits me
even before it's over
it's always as
ash
and
ash
and ash

the problem is
i won't
the problem is
i refuse to see

"This storm is what we call progress."

2011-12-06T18:17:00.000-08:00

Entartete Kunst, Dada wall in Room 3, Munich, 1937;
photo credit: Bildarchiv Preussischer Kulturbesitz/Art Resource, NY

“Art history was formed by the same impulse that created the advertising agency, the department store and even the labor union: the need simultaneously to reveal and disguise the comodification of culture.”

—	“Art History and Modernism” by Elizabeth Mansfield, in Art History and Its Institutions: Foundations of a Discipline

Two Poems

2011-11-09T23:35:00.001-08:00

1.

A limited arrogance
tends to ready any failure.
Don't think more of this
negative without need.
The restlessness is important.
Problems night and day
tempt life to deal,
to feel at risk.
It might be positive too,
might help put foolish, unexpected,
romantic difficulties to rest.
Even dim futures can feel special.

2.

Sweetness teaches
us the unmistakable
seal of serendipity,
that single little wonder.

Even through the things we said,
the things we always told,
we could still be the low
quiet rushing of glorious
retreating needs.

We could ask,
but we know not to ask.
We come, and we
become possibility

After we have done what
no will might want,
when we share as much
as two away from another,
I'm certain this must start.

I'm whatever you'll pull
after futures recollections.
I'm running within
with you.

Three Poems

2011-11-09T22:47:00.000-08:00

I.

the fun of

belonging

of hope

of being bored as hell

II.

worst day ever

pay attention mother fuckers

whatever

the thrill is gone

what the fuck have you done

III.

let's pretend none of this ever happened

show me don't tell me

we see what we want

come back

I really should cure us

but

there will be no miracles here

I woke up wanting to kiss you

that would have been wonderful

I can't explain and I won't even try

it is what it is, it was what it was

please come back I'm sorry about what happened before

sometimes I think sometimes i don't

please go make tomorrow better

you make me ha ha ha ha happy

I love you so much

come back

If not now then when?

one hour

until then if not before

little known thought

everything is going to be alright

more soon

2011-09-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

Critical mass has become
critical mess.
Surprised and undone with grief,
I gave up greener pastures
for more tenable acreage.
My reprise, my demise.

interests:

2011-07-07T12:37:00.001-07:00

etymology
sad short poems
early modernism

My Triumphant Return to Poetry

2011-04-10T23:28:00.001-07:00

in the spring

I meditated on the thought,
one day you will die
and I will be in your house
and eat the groceries you bought that day
as you lie dead.
Then it happened.

2011-02-17T15:02:00.000-08:00

"I am attracted to ellipsis, to the unsaid, to suggestion, to eloquent, deliberate silence."
-Louise Glück

Rilke's "Apollo's Archaic Torso"

2011-02-13T00:06:00.000-08:00

Apollo's Archaic Torso

We cannot know his incredible head,
where the eyes ripened like apples,
yet his torso still glows like a candelabrum,
from which his gaze, however dimmed,

still persists and gleams. If this were not so,
the bow of his breast could not blind you,
nor could a smile, steered by the gentle curve
of his loins, glide to the centre of procreation.

And this stone would seem disfigured and stunted,
the shoulders descending into nothing,
unable to glisten like a predator's pelt,

or burst out from its confines and radiate
like a star: for there is no angle from which
it cannot see you. You have to change your life.

translated by Sarah Stutt

"[the] primordial act of hospitality is echoed in every poem when it invites the reader to enter its domain. It is repeated every time a piece of sculpture offers its world to a viewer and every time a temple invites a believer to enter its premise and to encounter the god. A work of art is born every time a generous host creates a hospitable place and bids his guests, his readers, his viewers or his audience, to cross the threshold and to participate in a conversation. The work of art will last as long as there are guests who will gather under its roof and as long as the desire remains alive to continue the conversation among neighbors and across the generations."

Rilke’s “Archaic Torso of Apollo”

Concerning the encounter with a work of art

Bernd Jager, Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM)

Occasion

2011-01-21T19:26:00.000-08:00

"I do not fear to be alone or to be spurned for another or to leave whatever I have to leave.
And I am not afraid to make a mistake, even a great mistake,
a lifelong mistake and perhaps as long as eternity too."

fashion predictions for 2011: guerilla warrior

2011-01-01T15:15:00.000-08:00

though the "hipster" moment of unwashed grunge gave way to a new hyper yuppie, uber recession conscious and all to willing to distance themselves from financial devastation, the aftershocks of said "hipster" grunge will resurface. this grunge will be pervasive in a new form, the guerilla fighter. if the most recent hipster was reticent of le artiste and le boheme, this new resurfacing will emerge as the pseudo subversive militant warrior, the guerilla fighter. convent military chic without any of the inconvenient connotations of Fascist military garb.

guerilla's of all sorts will be prominent, but earlier looks will be strongest: i.e. less che, more paul revere.

critical for look,

embellished hardware with a distinct antiqued flavor
following in the "heritage trend", natural fibers and materials like leather, (these aspects can be featured in marketing of products, possibility for fetishizing of said 'natural fibers').

Visual Influences

Boer guerrillas during the Second Boer War

Guerrillas on the left, British oppressors on the right.
Engrav'd Printed & Sold by Paul Revere Boston.

A good laugh

2011-01-01T14:31:00.000-08:00

boudoir |ˈboōˌdwär|
noun chiefly historical or humorous

a woman's bedroom or private room.

ORIGIN late 18th cent.: French, literally ‘sulking place’ .

I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward.

2010-12-29T07:13:00.000-08:00

I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward. I have nothing to offer but my sincerest apologies that I have nothing to offer in the form of favors going forward.

A Poem about Tumblr

2010-12-23T13:33:00.001-08:00

sluts, candy, pills, straight hair, OC, NYC, MIA, Girltalk, gay ballerinas, skinny legs, nice rack, pro-ana, pro-mia, pro-choice, disco naps, nose candy, noise music, crop tops, all that gushy stuff, top 40s rap, spanking, arboretums, menageries, inheritances, the fair children of fairfield county, room service, egyptian cotton, doom, my private jet, gothic ironic, art history.

The source of the majority of my happiness

2010-12-12T19:47:00.000-08:00

THE RIGHT WORD
If you're good at perceiving analogies between dissimilar things and expressing them in quick, sharp, spontaneous observations or remarks, you have wit.
Humor, on the other hand, is the ability to perceive what is comical, ridiculous, or ludicrous in a situation or character, and to express it in a way that makes others see or feel the same thing. It suggests more sympathy, tolerance, and kindliness than wit (: she maintained a sense of humor in the midst of trying circumstances).
Irony is the implicit humor in the contradiction between what is meant and what is expressed, or in the discrepancy between appearance and reality. An example would be to shout, in the midst of a hurricane, “What a perfect day for a wedding!”
Although sarcasm may take the form of irony, it is less subtle and is often used harshly or bitterly to wound or ridicule someone. Unlike irony, however, sarcasm depends on tone of voice for its effect (: “a fine friend you turned out to be!” he said, with obvious sarcasm).
Satire usually implies the use of sarcasm or irony for the purpose of ridicule or criticism, often directed at institutions or political figures (: she wrote political satire for the comedy team).
If you are good at making quick, witty replies, you will be known for your repartee, which is the art of responding pointedly and skillfully with wit or humor in a conversational exchange (: no one could compete with her witty repartee).

From the New Oxford American Dictionary

2010-11-22T18:10:00.000-08:00

THE RIGHT WORD

Things don't always go as planned, but there are many ways to describe the role that chance plays.

Accidental applies to events that occur entirely by chance (: an accidental encounter with the candidate outside the men's room); but it is so strongly influenced by the noun “accident” that it carries connotations of undesirable or possibly disastrous results (: an accidental miscalculation of the distance he had to jump).
A casual act or event is one that is random or unpremeditated (: a casual conversation with her son's teacher in the grocery store), in which the role that chance plays is not always clear.
Something that is incidental may or may not involve chance; it typically refers to what is secondary or nonessential (: incidental expenses in the budget) or what occurs without design or regularity (: incidental lighting throughout the garden).
Adventitious also implies the lack of an essential relationship, referring to something that is a mere random occurrence (: adventitious circumstances that led to victory).
In contrast, contingent points to something that is entirely dependent on an uncertain event for its existence or occurrence (: travel plans that are contingent upon the weather).
Fortuitous refers to chance events of a fortunate nature; it is about as far as one can get from accidental (: a fortuitous meeting with the candidate outside the men's room just before the press conference).

Pursuit of Happiness

2010-11-22T17:26:00.000-08:00

The self-help section of my intimate private library is comprised of Schumpeter, Simmel, and Schopenhauer.

s-offal-s

2010-11-16T10:00:00.001-08:00

offal |ˈôfəl; ˈäfəl|
noun
the entrails and internal organs of an animal used as food.
• refuse or waste material.
• decomposing animal flesh.
ORIGIN late Middle English (in the sense [refuse from a process] ): probably suggested by Middle Dutch afval, from af ‘off’ + vallen ‘to fall.’

Despondent

2010-10-31T11:17:00.001-07:00

-- unable to respond, so tired you can't respond, let alone initiate an act or action (mine)
-in low spirits from loss of hope or courage.(official)
-comes from despondere (present active infinitive) "to give up, to abandon"

english definition suggests despondent describes something after the fact, after the effect, the effected state. describes a state that occurs after hope/courage has been lost. also, does not make clear how active the despondent party was in giving up. the latin despondere because it is a present active infinitive means literally to give up, and does not describe the after effect/mood that results from this act. latin comes from de+spondeo. Spondeo meaning promise or bond, and de, from. perhaps 'despondency' best describes a sadness that falls upon you after a solemn promise/bond/engagement is broken. it is more than a loss of hope or courage, but the break of the bond between the party and the hope they themselves created/authored. most fittingly describes a situation in whence hope is attached to something the party has created/contributed to in an active manner (this explains the solemn promise), different from a hope that comes from hoping an event where you are a passive party might occur, as in, hope it is sunny tomorrow (no control, no bond, no engagement) [also, engagement compounds the degree of promise and activity and agency]. to actively participate in something, expect/anticipate a specific outcome from such attentions paid to making the outcome arise, only to realize (possibly suddenly), that you anticipated outcome will not occur (difference between will not and has not). therefore, the most sad, most dejected, most despondent state comes from participation, anticipation, and then before the event is due, realizing a different outcome will happen. trapped in an unfortunate position of watching what you want not to happen, happen, and being totally powerless. a heightened anxiety from knowing you will be in pain before you are in pain.

"latin supine, Future Passive Infinitive. for example "amatum iri" means "to be about to be loved". indirect statements, for example "credidit se necatum iri", meaning "he thought that he was going to be killed"."

From "LITTLE GIDDING"

2010-10-06T00:24:00.001-07:00

What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make and end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.
-T.S. Eliot

Great Granny Webster by Caroline Blackwood

2010-10-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

Portrait of Caroline Blackwood by Walker Evans

"Standing in the oppressive suburban graveyard of Hove and feeling a sudden sadness at the loss of his flighty and humorous sister, I missed my father. Missing him, I realized, that for me he would always be lost in a much more serious and final way than Aunt Lavinia and Great Granny Webster could ever be. Like someone born before the invention of the camera, he had disappeared too early for my memory to have been able to form any device that could retain him as a distinct outline. Even missing him was futile, for it was like missing a foreign country which one had never visited and never would. No anecdotes or reminiscences from his contemporaries could ever give him a face. He would remain like a wobbly circle drawn by a child that says "Look at my man," not having the skill to put in the eyes, the nose and the mouth.

Waiting for Great Granny Webster's burial I found it strange and distressing to realize that the old lady could never be lost for ever like my father, whether I wished to keep her or note, she would always remain with me because I could remember her as a living concrete entity, whereas he was merely an absence, an abstraction without voice or flesh.

I had met Great Granny Webster only a few years after y father's death, but that small time-lag had been crucial. Her image would live on while his would vanish, because unlike him she had appeared with the beginning of my memory's photography. Great Granny Webster would enter this hole in front of which Richards and I were embarrassedly praying, but she would never stay there. In my imagination she would have an after-life in which she existed for ever in her dark Hove drawing-room, living and breathing in her upright chair. My father could never have any such resurrection. He could never emerge from his jungle grave in Burma to live again and breathe"

October in Happy Valley

2010-10-02T22:14:00.001-07:00

"I know we're not
Illegitimate
In our hearing
So come on
So come on, night "

Thank Heaven

2010-09-24T09:48:00.000-07:00

"No temptation can ever be measured by the value of its object."
-Colette

2010-09-05T23:40:00.000-07:00

sometimes i think
sometimes i don't

Family Affair

2010-08-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

The above, out this fall, have been influenced by the following:

It's pronounced 'shhawwn'

2010-08-30T09:02:00.000-07:00

"Once I wanted to be the greatest
Two fists of solid rock
With brains that could explain
Any feeling"

-chan marshall

New Volume

2010-08-30T08:56:00.001-07:00

Do you ever feel like
so much
is standing in
the way?

Why do you have a computer?

2010-08-05T13:07:00.001-07:00

you ask.

During hour 3.5 of

this summer saga,

I broke into the barred window

through the screen,

and lifted a chair

up and backwards

so my room mate's computer

would slide

to me

Battery is low.

Liveblog

2010-08-05T13:07:00.000-07:00

Going to liveblog my despair,

of being locked outside

during 85 degree heat

for 4 consecutive hours.

My laundry is at the laundromat.

Please, no one steal it.

Will be 2 or so more hours until help arrives.

FML.

My

2010-07-21T20:57:00.001-07:00

favorite sense of humor
is dark and dry,
like the high desert at midnight.
Unforgiving during waking hours
but perfect conditions to preserve
a corpse in.

Gravy

2010-07-21T20:56:00.001-07:00

I want a fork and a knife
a house and wife
to make this all better.

Month to Month, Mouth to Mouth

2010-07-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

It is very early. The sun has just begun to rise. The city has just begun to grind, to accelerate and break to the steady instruction of traffic lights and oncoming cars. It is cool and breezy but the day may become unbearably warm. There is so little darkness these days. The sun goes down late and rises before you've had a change to properly cycle through REM. In bed I lie awake with my eyes closed and imagine California. Until I move there again on my own terms, until I go back beyond a holiday or school break, California will mean one thing to me, my past, my crackling brushfire childhood and chlorinated sea salt gasoline puddle youth. A lifetime long gone of soft gooey asphalt and swim practice and grade school and parents and growing up. California is a radio station with oldie on in a car on a 75 degree day in December. The seasons only change on movie sets and everyone waters their lawn during one inch of rain drought years. I remember shirtless skateboarders, lanky packs of boys sweating quietly and judging each other's dips and clicks to the clack clack of wood on cement. California might as well be some feature length film. It is behind glass, surface projected on a screen, smoke and mirrors. It is so much further than a plane ride away. It is seasons away, people away, novels, poems and new favorite songs away. I have hoarded these new things, friends, favorites, loathes and loves to build a mountain range between myself and the west coast. To return would mean I'd have to dismantle the barricade. Every day I am gone is another brick stacked so I might prevent an untimely or premature return.

Musical Stylings

2010-06-03T02:29:00.000-07:00

I enjoy corporate rap (top 40 hits) but independent rock and electic beatz.
I think this combination is not rare for someone with my upbringing.

As a friend of mine aptly put it, if I preferred corporate rock (Creed) and independent rap (Atmosphere), I might be an angry white male instead of a zen womyn.

From the Oxford American Dictionary

2010-05-14T13:39:00.001-07:00

Clichés To Avoid (NOAD2)
A cliché is a worn-out expression. It was once fresh and meaningful, but it has lost its original impact through overuse. Numerous clichés have become so familiar that it would be virtually impossible to eradicate them from one’s vocabulary. However, writers and speakers should make the effort to avoid using them, especially in formal material.
Common clichés to avoid
above and beyond the call of duty
accident waiting to happen
acid test
add insult to injury
after all is said and done
all hands on deck
all in all
all wet
all’s well that ends well
almighty dollar
along the same lines
A-OK
as luck would have it
at a loss for words
at arm’s length
avoid like the plague
back in the saddle
back on track
backseat driver
ball is in your court
barking up the wrong tree
be your own worst enemy
beat a dead horse
beat around the bush
been there, done that
beggars can’t be choosers
be an open book
believe me
better late than never
between a rock and a hard place
between you, me, and the lamppost
big picture
big spender
bigger fish to fry
bird’s-eye view
bitter end
bone of contention
born and bred
both sides of the coin
brain trust
bring home the bacon
broad spectrum
broaden one’s horizons
bundle of nerves
bury the hatchet
busy as a bee
buy into
by leaps and bounds
by the skin of one’s teeth
call her bluff
can’t judge a book by its cover
can’t take a joke
cast the net
catbird seat
catch as catch can
center of attention
cheat death
chew the fat
clear as a bell
clear as mud
cloak and dagger
coast is clear
cold as ice
cold shoulder
come full circle
come to no good
come up for air
conspicuous by their absence
cool it
cop out
could eat a horse
counting on you
count your blessings
cover all the bases
crazy like a fox
cream of the crop
creature of habit
crossing the line
cut me some slack
cut to the chase
dead in the water
dead wrong
dog-eat-dog
done deal
done to death
don’t know him from Adam
down and dirty
down and out
down in the dumps
down in the mouth
dressed to the nines
due in large measure to
duly noted
dumb luck
easier said than done
easy come, easy go
easy mark
easy target
eat crow
end of discussion
every fiber of my being
face the music
fair and square
fall from grace
fall through the cracks
far and away
feast or famine
few and far between
fighting the tide
fill the bill
find it in your heart
fit as a fiddle
fit to be tied
fits like an old shoe
flat as a pancake
fly in the ointment
fly off the handle
for all intents and purposes
for love or money
for your information
fork it over
free as a bird
from the frying pan into the fire
from time immemorial
game plan
get behind the eight ball
get down to brass tacks
get off scot-free
get our ducks in a row
get the lead out
get the show on the road
get to the bottom of it
give a damn
give rise to
go for the kill
go it alone
go the distance
go the extra mile
go to pieces
go with the flow
goes without saying
good for nothing
goodly number
grass is always greener
green with envy
grist for the mill
hammer out the details
handwriting on the wall
hang in there
has a screw loose
have your heart in your mouth
head over heels
heated argument
his bark is worse than his bite
hit or miss
hit the ceiling
hit the ground running
hit the nail on the head
hold that thought
holding back the tide
hook, line, and sinker
hour of need
I wasn’t born yesterday
icing on the cake
if looks could kill
if the price is right
I’m all over it
I’m speechless
in a nutshell
in due course
in hot water
in layman’s terms
in one fell swoop
in over their heads
in seventh heaven
in the bag
in the ballpark
in the driver’s seat
in the event that
in the final analysis
in the groove
in the near future
in the neighborhood of
in the nick of time
in the same boat
in the zone
in this day and age
irons in the fire
it could be worse
it stands to reason
it takes all kinds
it takes guts
it’s your baby
join the club
keep your fingers crossed
keep the home fires burning
keeping score
kill the fatted calf
kiss of death
knock on wood
knock the socks off of
know the ropes
last but not least
last straw
lay an egg
learning curve
leave no stone unturned
left to his own devices
lend me an ear
let the cat out of the bag
let your hair down
letter perfect
lie low
light of day
like a bull in a china shop
like a bump on a log
like greased lightning
like rolling off a log
little does he know
live it up
lock, stock, and barrel
look like a million bucks
low man on the totem pole
make ends meet
make tracks
makes her blood boil
method in (or to) my madness
millstone around your neck
mince words
misery loves company
moment of truth
Monday-morning quarterback
monkey on your back
more money than God
more than meets the eye
more than you could shake a stick at
nail to the wall
naked truth
nearing the finish line
needle in a haystack
needs no introduction
never a dull moment
nip and tuck
nip in the bud
no harm, no foul
no skin off my nose
no strings attached
no-brainer
none the worse for wear
nose to the grindstone
not one red cent
nothing new under the sun
off the cuff
old as the hills
old hat
old soldiers never die
older than dirt
on cloud nine
on the one hand/on the other hand
on the road
on the same page
on the same track
on the wagon
on top of the world
out of my league
out of the woods
over a barrel
pan out
par for the course
pass the buck
pay the piper
perish the thought
piece of cake
playing for keeps
powers that be
practice makes perfect
proud as a peacock
pulling my leg
pulling no punches
put faces to names
put on hold
put the bite on
put words in one’s mouth
put your money where your mouth is
quick and dirty
rags to riches
rant and rave
reading me like a book
real McCoy
red as a beet
regret to inform you
reign supreme
rings a bell
ripe old age
rise and shine
rolling over in his grave
rub elbows
rule the roost
run circles around
run it up the flagpole
run off at the mouth
sadder but wiser
safe to say
salt of the earth
scarce as hen’s teeth
sea of faces
see the forest for the trees
sell like hotcakes
set in stone
shake a leg
sharp as a tack
ships that pass in the night
shoot the breeze
shooting himself in the foot
shot in the arm
shot to hell
sight for sore eyes
sitting duck
skeleton in the closet
skin alive
sleep on it
smells fishy
smooth sailing
snake in the grass
spill the beans
stay in the loop
steal the limelight
stem the tide
stick to your guns
stick your neck out
straight from the horse’s mouth
strange bedfellows
strike a balance
strong as an ox
stubborn as a mule
sturdy as an oak
suffice it to say
sweating bullets
take a breather
take into consideration
take on board
take one’s word for
take pleasure in
take the bitter with the sweet
take the easy way out
take the liberty of
talk shop
talk the talk
talk through your hat
talk your ear off
that’s all she wrote
the die is cast
they’ll be sorry
thick as thieves
thin as a rail
think outside the box
think tank
those are the breaks
through thick and thin
throw caution to the wind
thrown to the wolves
tighten our belts
time is money
time marches on
time waits for no man
to each his own
to your heart’s content
too funny for words
took the words right out of my mouth
touch base
turn the other cheek
turn up your nose
two peas in a pod
ugly as sin
under the wire
up a creek
upset the applecart
venture a guess
vicious circle
waiting for the other shoe to drop
walk the walk
walking encyclopedia
walking on air
welcome with open arms
when the cows come home
where angels fear to tread
where there’s smoke, there’s fire
whole nine yards
wild-goose chase
wipe the slate clean
wishful thinking
with bated breath
without further ado
without further delay
wonders never cease
words fail me
wreak havoc
yadda, yadda, yadda
you said a mouthful
you’ll never know if you don’t try

More, Moore.

2010-05-05T02:43:00.000-07:00

"When kindness has left people, even for a few moments,
we become afraid of them,
as if their reason had left them.
When it has left a place where we have always found it,
it is like shipwreck;
we drop from security into something malevolent and bottomless."

— Willa Cather, My Mortal Enemy.

Reminds me of Lorrie Moore

2010-05-05T02:36:00.000-07:00

“People can be lovers and enemies at the same time,
you know. We were…
A man and a woman draw apart from that long embrace,
and see what they have done to each other.

Perhaps I can’t forgive him for the harm I did him.
Perhaps that’s it.
When [that feeling] remains so personal… something gives way in one.
In age we lose everything; even the power to love.”

— Willa Cather, My Mortal Enemy.

My girls run the Everglades

2010-05-04T09:27:00.001-07:00

Traditions are beautiful—but to create then—not to follow.
-Franz Marc

2010-04-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

(1866) Woman with White Stockings by Gustave Courbet

Advertisement for American Apparel

2010-04-12T10:16:00.001-07:00

"Pale, nervous girls with black-rimmed glasses and blunt-cut hair lolled around on sofas, riffling Penguin Classics provocatively. But it wasn't just intellectual experiences. They were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could 'relate without getting close.' For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack."

- "the whore of mensa", woody allen

War of Nerves: Gaslight Juncture

2010-04-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

I want to press my palm against your back
put my forehead on your neck, shake my head
and move my nose between your shoulder blades.

Profound, pretentious, pretend

2010-04-10T23:46:00.001-07:00

"Hurt people, hurt people."
-Greenberg

Couldn't tell

2010-04-10T09:34:00.000-07:00

did you know that when people appear in your dreams, it's because that person wants to see you.

Tavi Dressed as Andy Warhol

2010-02-17T04:07:00.000-08:00

Gilded Guide

2010-02-16T10:59:00.001-08:00

"To the selfish all things are possible. . . .How many forceful natures have been ruined by being unselfish. How many lives wasted through unnecessary sacrifice." -Gertrude Vanderbilt Whitney

Shop Talk

2010-02-09T12:26:00.000-08:00

5. True ambition in a poet seeks fame in the old sense, to make words that live forever. If even to entertain such ambition reveals monstrous egotism, let me argue that the common alternative is petty egotism that spends itself in small competitiveness, that measures its success by quantity of publication, by blurbs on jackets, by small achievement: to be the best poet in the workshop, to be published by Knopf, to win the Pulitzer or the Nobel. . . . The grander goal is to be as good as Dante.

Let me hypothesize the developmental stages of the poet.

At twelve, say, the American poet-to-be is afflicted with generalized ambition. (Robert Frost wanted to be a baseball pitcher and a United States senator: Oliver Wendell Holmes said that nothing was so commonplace as the desire to appear remarkable; the desire may be common but it is at least essential.) At sixteen the poet reads Whitman and Homer and wants to be immortal. Alas, at twenty-four the same poet wants to be in the New Yorker. . . .

From "Poetry and Ambition" by Donald Hall

2010-02-09T11:49:00.000-08:00

"A human body, just dead, is very like a living body except that it no longer contains something that was invisible anyway. In a poem, as in a human body, what is invisible makes all the difference."

-Robert Bly, A Wrong Turning in American Poetry

vitiate \VISH-ee-ayt\, transitive verb:

2010-01-10T12:57:00.001-08:00

1. To make faulty or imperfect; to render defective; to impair; as, "exaggeration vitiates a style of writing."
2. To corrupt morally; to debase.
3. To render ineffective; as, "fraud vitiates a contract."

Best coast is.

2009-12-05T13:49:00.000-08:00

Suburbia

2009-12-04T19:53:00.000-08:00

Soaring into the wild beige yonder.

Resign here please.

2009-12-03T18:39:00.000-08:00

Going to California
so I can run and play
Going to California
so I can make rights on reds, all the live long day.

Simmering to a boil

2009-11-09T18:29:00.001-08:00

How biodegradable is a book?
How biodegradable is an e-reader?
What is the carbon footprint of producing a book, tree ->paper, ink, so on..?
What is the carbon footprint of producing an e-reader, oil->plastic, plastic, plastic?

Library on fire...

Nearly

2009-11-01T21:29:00.001-08:00

generations, clearly marked, like off ramp signs, easily missed or misplaced
boom or bust
come what must
this is us
driven to dust or ossified.

Study on Diabetes and Sugar

2009-10-31T18:13:00.000-07:00

exclusion is the best revenge
refusal to even refute your existence
to blink dully and ask, uhm yeah, but what's for dessert?

Quote from the quiet

2009-10-27T14:09:00.000-07:00

Washington Square, New York 1954, by André Kertész

"She couldn't even say when the love between them had begun to sicken, how long it had been gasping drearily over its own grave of rage and obligation. They had spent over a third of their lives together—a third, like sleep."

—Like Life

German Hipsters

2009-10-20T15:32:00.000-07:00

Archiological find of the week, rare photo of ancient German hipsters
Schiller is teaching, and Goeth is in the crowd being a groupie.
There are some babes also known as groupies waiting for the after party.

Meditation on Help

2009-10-19T17:26:00.001-07:00

when people say 'i love you' it has little to do with 'you', it has everything to do with how they feel about themselves and nothing to do with how they feel about you. when people say 'i hate you' it has little to do with 'you', it has everything to do with how they feel about themselves. we 'hate' the people we deem responsible for the pain or suffering in our lives.

similarly, someone offering to help you has little to do with 'you' and is based almost exclusively on how they feel about themselves. how to predict when someone will indulge the altruist within is very simple, if the party asking for help admits any competence or capability of getting on just fine without the party they have asked for help from, the helping party will feel almost slighted and abstain, thanks but no thanks. if the party asking for help gives up all 'dignity' and admits 'complete defeat' that only the helping party can rescue them from, the helping party will attend. it feels good to be a hero and lukewarm to be a volunteer babysitter.

LITERARY REVIEW: "SHOPLIFTING FROM AMERICAN APPAREL" by TAO LIN

2009-10-16T16:11:00.001-07:00

This novel shows great promise of what is to come from this author and his generation. It is a pause before the storm of disaster and adulthood, a final clearheaded glimpse of youth before it is ravaged and weathered by age.

Sam has been arrested twice for shoplifting, and the following scene takes place several weeks after his second release from jail. Walking around with Robert, Sam recognizes someone he shared a cell with. Sam recounts to Robert that "the young Asian" was funny, and they decide to follow him. As they trail him, Sam and Robert laugh together, not at the young Asian in particular but at their own obscene ideas about him. After a few minutes the young asian realizes he is being followed and he confronts Robert and Sam, saying, "I didn't rape my sister, two guys raped my sister, ask anyone, ask one of my friends," and the scene ends.

I found this silencing and disturbing in the best kind of way, like, oh here we are "mere children" "fucking around" in a city, ha ha, ha, which shifts deftly in tone toward a darker more menacing reality of, "oh, not everyone in the world is fucking around." As a reader I felt deeply affected by this, and I was only a witness to a witness, to a witness. Just as in the greatest Greek tragedies, the real bloodshed happens offstage, it does not have to happen on the page for its reverberations to shake the reader.

Essentially, the reader of "Shoplifting from American Apparel" is a voyeur, preying upon characters who are voyeurs. Beneath a patina of isolation and ennui the innocence of these characters remains. They are intact, untouched, half members of the world at large. They are without a doubt divorced from childhood and adolescence, their remembrances of it are the most obvious proof that it is something they have lost, something behind them. Yet the characters remain outsiders to the kingdom of adulthood, they are part-time workers, scabs, without benefits or burdens carried by full-fledged citizens of adulthood.

Do as I say

2009-10-10T22:26:00.001-07:00

another day another dollar
my dearly beloved
drop in the paperwork
finally, deaden the dearth
of our final caress.

Verushka

2009-10-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

ZEBRA - teaches us the beauty in individuality. The zebra's distinctive stripes serves as a protective camouflage against predators, who are often unable to pick an individual out from the herd. For herd members, the stripe patterns, unique to each zebra, have the opposite effect of helping to identify individual zebras. This power animal thus helps us to both maintain our individuality in group settings and helps us to be supportive members of our communities. A third spiritual meaning for the stripes has to do with the integration of opposites, thus enabling us to see a deeper truth.

SPIDER - teaches us to weave our lives. As Spider weaves her web so we weave our realities. This medicine teaches to remember that we are the creators of our lives. When spider appears in your life think about writing down your thoughts, telling your story.

"I dressed all in black and went to see all the top photographers, like Irving Penn, and said,
'I am Veruschka who comes from the border between Russia, Germany and Poland.
I'd like to see what you can do with my face.'"

Not gonna write you a love song

2009-10-03T18:36:00.000-07:00

My facial expression shifts
continental drift of features
from soft to hard
as I look at your expression.

Aristotilian Aristocratic Method

2009-09-19T12:12:00.000-07:00

"As man is the best of the animals when perfected, so he is the worst when separated from law and justice. For injustice is most dangerous when it is armed and man armed by nature with good sense and virtue may use them for entirely opposite ends. Therefore, when he is without virtue, man is the most unscrupulous and savage of the animals." -Aristotle

In Russia

2009-08-26T08:10:00.000-07:00

Nothing is red. There are no lines to buy bread. In fact, there is a bread museum, but I don't know if that is saying much because there is also a vodka museum, a chocolate museum, an arctic exploration museum, a museum of chairs and a museum of fountains. St. Petersburg, the land of a thousand museums. New York is trying to compete with this title for the 2012 Winter Cultural Decathelon, but I think St. Petersburg has got them beat. They have a curator school, much like their ballet schools, where they send their children at age 3-5. They can tell early on who will make a good curator.

Little bit of this, little bit of that

2009-08-05T21:19:00.001-07:00

"A little more than kin, and less than kind."

"'Tis safer to be that which we destroy/Than by destruction dwell in doubtful joy."

Genius and Genuine walk into a bar...

2009-07-30T22:10:00.000-07:00

"New York, more than any city in the world, unless it be Paris, loves to be amused, thrilled and surprised all at the same time; and will accept with outstretched hand any one who can perform this astounding feat. Do not underestimate the ability that can achieve it: a scintillating wit, an arresting originality, a talent for entertaining that amounts to genius, and gold poured literally like rain, are the least requirements.

Puritan America on the other hand demanding, as a ticket of admission to her Best Society, the qualifications of birth, manners and cultivation, clasps her hands tight across her slim trim waist and announces severely that New York’s “Best” is, in her opinion, very “bad” indeed. But this is because Puritan America, as well as the general public, mistakes the jester for the queen."

-Emily Post

Dear children, a fable for you all

2009-07-26T10:43:00.001-07:00

If people aren't getting mad, you're not doing a good job.

The point isn't to make people upset, but the point is to provoke people, make them uncomfortable, ask questions rather than answer them. Most people respond to discomfort with anger, someone has pushed them from the warm nest of certainty and impulse grabs at it's pseudo nipple pacifier with a vengeance. Everyone wants their binky back. So, if you're making 'art' it's usually going to amount to not much unless someone, anyone, is getting pissed that it existed and wishes it didn't, so badly that they write a negative review of it. There are poorly composed works that warrant negative reviews, but when things are mostly horrible, instead of ahead of their time, they get ignored. If any work is so obviously train wreck debris, no one will bother to smash it in the review section. If, if, if, it is provocative it might just get shit talked in the New York Times Book Review.

Dinner Table sans dessert

2009-07-22T09:15:00.000-07:00

in order to forgo hate
you must forget how you
once loved the hands that failed you

This Summer Choose Happiness

2009-07-15T00:13:00.001-07:00

Forked

2009-07-14T01:23:00.000-07:00

dear miss maybe,

it's not that i don't mind a walk in the park every once and a while but i just can't seem to wrap my head around this idea of living outdoors. i'm free. i'm not afraid. i've even camped out under the stars once or twice, but i simply cannot bring myself to forgo my happy house and resort to pitching a tent permanently. that is why i must be gone for good and we must, ahem, go our separate ways. my offer to validate your parking is still good, but until you decide to leave your flint and ruckus of a campsite, we must remain undone. it's hard, i know, but i dare you too call one more time and try and make it work the way you planned. it won't. it will flop faster than your adobe abode by the sea. maybe in the near future when all is recovered, mostly me, we can arrange a little get together, a moment that is a million miles from right now, and laugh, round fat adult drunk laughs about what foolish children we were. until then, happy hunting!

much love,

primordial primary school drop-out

What do you guys think?

2009-07-07T06:56:00.000-07:00

Brett Easton Ellis' "Less Than Zero" was a modern day "Brideshead Revisited."

Julian of LTZ=Julian of Brideshead revisited.

Brideshead=Beverly Hills.

Note, I say was because LTZ no longer modern. No one cares about Spago anymore, no one cares about Elvis Costello unless they are trying to be ironic. Not totally sure who is the equivalent 'right now', thinking hard, going to go to Starbucks, drink coffee and come up with an answer. Maybe I will forget about this literary/academic higher pursuit of knowledge existence type question while I am in line behind 3 pairs of breast implants complaining about their children failing summer school. Please add your thoughts.

Technological Wah-Wah

2009-07-05T07:39:00.000-07:00

If and when hard copy newspapers go, I will miss them. Wah, ink, wah, killing thousands of trees, wah virgin forests degraded to black and blue pulp for my reading pleasure. How long does it take a computer to decompose? How long does it take a newspaper to decompose? When the the paper itself is begins to disintegrate, the content of its articles is also decomposing, a most charming quality. News is new information. I've recently found myself going through hundreds of bookmarked news articles I couldn't resist adding to my online favorites. Call it a bit of late spring cleaning, I've found it necessary to rid myself of such digital debris. Paper newspapers offer no such problem. By the time the thin sheets have started to yellow and crinkle, it's Mother Nature's way of saying, really? really? do you need to keep this old thing around? it's not even a press clipping concerning you, go donate this to a compost heap! Who would have thought the streamlined product of yesteryear, the symbol of mechanization and proud industrial product, would ever look well, earthy?

But it won't stop me from getting her haircut

2009-06-14T15:22:00.001-07:00

goop |goōp|
noun informal
sloppy or sticky semifluid matter, typically something unpleasant.
• mawkish sentiment.

*does goop=semen ?

100 years old

2009-06-09T13:43:00.000-07:00

O. Henr y, the hipster:

"Perhaps there is no happiness in life so perfect as the martyr's."

"Bohemia is nothing more than the little country in which you do not live. If you try to obtain citizenship in it, at once the court and retinue pack the royal archives and treasure and move away beyond the hills."

Other rare gems:

"She plucked from my lapel the invisible strand of lint (the universal act of woman to proclaim ownership)."

"We often hear "shop-girls" spoken of. No such persons exist. There are girls who work in shops. They make their living that way. But why turn their occupation into an adjective? Let us be fair. We do not refer to the girls who live on Fifth Avenue as 'marriage-girls.' "

Bing goes the bell

2009-06-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

Everyone liked the "Jenifer Smith IS" format of old Facebook updates, because it allowed people to refer to themselves in the third person, as if their trip to Petsmart and Target were newsworthy, journalism worthy, another person watching you worthy activities.

Just in case you wondered

2009-06-05T02:03:00.000-07:00

My poems will never go to a spa.

I will never take my poems to a spa.

I will never give my poems an advance in their allowances so they can go to the spa like they saw their favorite poem go to one in the regionalist pseudo literary magazine that mostly sells advertising space for 'wellness' camps that are actually sad holding cells for the mildly upper-class and severely deranged substance abusing Americans of the New England or New England minded area. Those are just spas too.

No, you are not old enough to get a botulism treatment my little sestina,
You're not even old enough to wear a training bra, why are you worried about Botox.
Please return my thong to my underwear drawer. Do not wear my lipstick.

No,
you may not go to the spa.

We can get Granny a gift certificate to go to one for her 87th birthday, but your birthday is a long way away, so I don't think it's going to happen.

Go fold your laundry.

Whole Wheat Pulp

2009-06-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

“Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested”
—Sir Francis Bacon

exquisite risk

2009-05-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

is such a tiny thing

May 39th, DOA: OD'd on Hall & Oates and Fleetwood Mac

2009-05-30T18:08:00.001-07:00

I am going to make the art-y-est art in the entire world.
Com-bo of high and low, like graphics from chemically toxic food you would buy at Big Y/Stop and Shop/Ralphs/Albertsons/SuperSized Target with a grocery store
think, pizza bagel bites.

I'm going to cut and paste Lean Cuisine graphic images
onto a green screen backdrop with my face,
my favorite rapper's face, (underground hippittyhophop)
and then my favorite MaxErnst/Bruegel/Jonas Mekas film still
to fill in space.

Modern Homage?

2009-05-27T14:27:00.000-07:00

The Very Best of the Stone Roses

2009-05-24T16:40:00.000-07:00

and your existence too
will be debated
1000 superstar years
after you are gone

someone will sit
and someone will stand
up against the idea of
eating, breathing and shitting.

if you are lucky
or blank enough
for everyone to
find some
facet of themselves
within you

a school of pedagogy
will be dedicated to
your exit.

2009-05-23T11:07:00.000-07:00

Bankers wear suits to distract you while they take your money
It's about making you feel secure

Politicians wear suits to look like bankers.

Kansas or East LA

2009-05-18T19:23:00.000-07:00

Winning an election/publishing a book
same story,
different suit.

Approx. 38 minutes from Manhattan

2009-05-15T16:03:00.000-07:00

Not toally sure if I exist right now or not.
Please, someone, garnish the war I want to wage
against anyone I was ever incomplete toward.

Favorite Pioneer Valley bumper sticker: Honk if you don't exist

2009-05-06T00:15:00.000-07:00

last season on, soffi goes to college with 5,000 women in the wilderness, we saw our young darling in the perils of an existential crisis, who was emily dickinson, who was walt whitman? did the virgin queen of amherst inhabit the soul of the flamboyant brooklynite? or was it just a case of post-civil war gender crisis? will the 15 page paper encompassing song of myself and every dick poem about birds be written by the 11th hour?

with all that resolved in the final moments of the show, we can now turn our attention to the quandries of this term's finals, in which, young stiassni, blossoming literary scholar at large, ponders dreamily out her 3rd story window into the woods. unwashed, dehydrated, and sipping her fourth triple shot caffinated beverage of the evening she asks aloud (out of consideration for her audience, not out of madness), who was sylvia plath? why do all male scholars think ted hughes taught her to spell her name? did smith's curriculum suffer so greatly under the eye of mccarthyism and the cold-war regime that they forgot to teach their daughters of academia to spell? is it possible that gloria stienem and sylvia plath crossed paths during their time at smith? who designed those horrible bras they all were wearing?

TO BE CONTINUED......

Answers next week!

Happy

2009-05-04T08:06:00.000-07:00

“Her Ariel volume, as she arranged the manuscript, true to the New Critical principles she learned in college, began with the word “love,” she noted, and ended with the word “spring.” Even as Plath recorded and absorbed the hate that dominated this period, she wanted to believe in something else, and she wanted us to believe it too.”

-Degrees of Freedom: American Women Poets and the Women's College, 1905-1955

Oh.

2009-05-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

"Modern management as a discipline began as according to some as (i) an off-shoot of economics or to others as (ii) organizational practices associated with US slavery."

Blissed Out

2009-04-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

I'm going to strip search N. Mailer for metaphor or matter.
There is no soft way to do this.
It comes on slow because the sun wakes me up now.
Wouldn't it be better if I wrote you a letter
an apologetic hello, ephemera, triad?
Do you wrap your good evenings in blankets and hide
them from the longer part of the night or do you
wrap them in silk and dip them in heels and shove
them off of the plank?

It's just a little bliss
It's not even a big deal
It's summer.
You like summer right?

Jr. MBA

2009-04-21T22:10:00.000-07:00

Weinberg's Law of Twins states that most of the time, no matter how much effort one expends, no event of any great significance will result. Weinberg's Law of Twins Inverted states that occasionally—particularly when one isn't expecting it—a significant event occurs.

Super Fun New Quiz

2009-04-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

WHICH 1! R U?
COLLECT THEM ALL!

They both had three marriages

2009-04-15T10:03:00.000-07:00

Dorothy Parker and Jean Rhys
soul sisters
separated at birth

Indicators of success...

2009-04-12T21:16:00.000-07:00

There are two types of people in the world
those who passed calc and those who didn't.

Moho

2009-04-08T21:41:00.000-07:00

ohorovičić discontinuity
(the Moho)

The boundary between the crust and the mantle in the earth. This is a depth where seismic waves change velocity and there is also a change in chemical composition. Named after Andrija Mohorovičić, the Istrian seismologist who discovered it. The boundary is between 25 and 60 km deep beneath the continents and between 5 and 8 km deep beneath the ocean floor.

you put the tea in team

2009-04-06T01:16:00.001-07:00

is being depressed like a tear in the lining of your favorite sports coat
or a hole in a jacket pocket you don't know that's there
just a snagged seam you lose your house keys, thermometer
paycheck, and grocery list through?

Some days

2009-03-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

you are the cat, and others, you are the canary.

The problem has amplified ten fold.

2009-03-28T12:05:00.000-07:00

morbid, non-serious, artisanal, organic, wild-crafted, liberal arts educated, writer for sale.

please direct all inquiries to the offices of Public and Private Conglomerate for further details.

this is sort of old but great

2009-03-26T09:48:00.000-07:00

"look, let me make something
abundantly clear for people
that are so bereft of activities
they feel like they gotta comment on mine.
first of all being a vegetarian should
never be associated with being
a revolutionary or being open-minded.
that's a dietary choice.
if someone wants to proliferate the
type of ignorance we're supposed to
be fighting by thinking that,
you're just fucking yourself."
-Immortal Technique

miss lonelyhearted hagrag

2009-03-24T15:31:00.000-07:00

dear dr. eazy eve,

Today at 6:31pm

feelin overWHELMed, not by mo-homme, just by life, repetitive thinking, what is the point. realization that i will always be OUTSIDE of things and any access to anything "temporary"
i know this is the higher 'better' more noble road, but i can't help feeling like a hungry ghost in quilted-leather-lace-up-ankle-boots, ephemeral (eh feme er all of them femes), and of little consequence. what does this mean?

hugs and kisses,

big-gayme hunter

"I wanna be 5'10" like Cindy Crawford."

2009-03-21T21:17:00.000-07:00

At present, my hair is much longer than it appears to be in my Facebook profile picture.

Why are there so many Asian doctors and Russian scientists?

2009-03-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

A sex worker can be highly trained, highly skilled, but their skill is typically acquired at no monetary cost. The acquisition of their skills are something akin to "universal" availability. Because training is "free" it is literally "not valuable" and their position is easily replaceable. A capitalistic culture such as the United States also places a low cultural value on the sex worker, and does little to laud or accredit such workers. The most highly respected positions are ones requiring training that must be obtained at a high monetary cost. Scientists and doctors receive some of the most highly specialized and costly educations/training. Subsequently, a high premium is placed upon these positions.

Natives of a capitalistic culture are often unaware of it's economic system and can be ignorant of its inner workings. Recent members of the capitalistic culture who are former members of communist cultures, understand not only a communist economic system but concurrently understand the capitalist economy, as communist theory evolved in response to capitalist economies. The former members of a communist culture therefore understand the "true" value of the highly trained positions of scientist or doctor.

Existentially desperate male

2009-03-18T14:28:00.000-07:00

"Other people were necessary for his existence, said James. Another patient, in the same basic dilemma, behaved in the following way: he maintained himself in isolated detachment from the world for months, living alone in a single room, existing frugally on a few savings, day-dreaming. But in doing this, he began to feel he was dying inside; he was becoming more and more empty, and observed ‘a progressive impoverishment of my life mode’. A great deal of his pride and self-esteem was implicated in thus existing on his own, but as his state of depersonalization progressed he would emerge into social life for a foray order to get a ‘dose’ of other people, but ‘not an was like an alcoholic who goes on sudden drinking dry spells, except that in his case his addiction, of which frightened and ashamed as any repentant alcoholic was to other people. Within a short while, he feel that he was in danger of being caught up or circle he had entered and he would withdraw again brief in overdose’. He orgies between he was as or drug-addict, would come to trapped in the into his own isolation in a confusion of frightened hopelessness, suspicion, and shame."
-The Divided Self by R.D. Laing

So Far It's

2009-03-17T08:27:00.001-07:00

"--or, even more dread, a fashionably modern minimal exercise, going through its weary motions as it slouches toward epiphany."
-DFW